Let’s Be Honest…

I think this 40 days of writing was genius, but as I’ve finished a week now I can see it is unsustainable.

Not the writing part, but publishing a blog every day. I can write and process a lot of stuff, and a daily practice really helps me…but ,you know, when we publish there is editing and re-reading. Making sure the spelling is correct and no typos. Making sure it’s coherent! So often I re-read and it’s not, not at all. I’ve also begun writing one thing and it turned into something else altogether and my half hour turned into two and more angst.

Unsustainable.

But Blogging again isn’t….I’ll continue this. just not every day…it’s too much pressure. I have learned in this last year how lovely not having typical pressure is, and I certainly don’t want to lay it on myself again. by CHOICE!

And in light of my news yesterday I am ready to go somewhere, do something. It will.surely be safe and outdoors, but out, OUT! And wtith other people. And making sure I publish every day is not going to give me the space I need to move slowly back into a life. Notice I didn’t say my life. A life. Because I want to be open to possibility, to chance, to surprise and not tied down to anything. I’ve been tied to this apartment for a year. And I’ve been on my computer or phone much of that time..

That needs to stop. I’m feeling very strongly I need to get off social media; I’m just trying to see what that looks like.

I’m going to delete twitter, that’s an easy choice. I really only got back on it this year after a long time off and it makes me crazy anyway. Instagram will be the hardest; I follow so many interesting people on there and learn so much, however I know them now. I can read their books or go to their websites and find what’s new. There are friends on there I will still keep, but I can really cull my feed and get rid of all but the most useful people I follow. And Facebook? I’ve deleted it before, I can do it again.

That will take some time and I’ll check back in here with how that’s going. It may be that I can’t do it, just as I can’t publish every day. I make no apologies; it is what it is.

Anyway, this is a lesson for me on setting boundaries and being honest about what I have the capacity for. So many of you that I follow on here write great posts WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY! I want to do that.

Ok. This is going out pretty much unedited. Typos, whatever.

If the world is starting to open back up a little I want to be there for it. Honestly.