I’m not a Buddhist.
And I don’t play one on TV.
That said, I am very drawn to a lot of Buddhist thought. (I meditate. I’m a yogi. Why are you surprised?)
It keeps me grounded in the present, in the realities of life the way that really nothing else does. I mean, there is no fooling around with those Buddhists. Life is suffering, you know? We must embrace that. Every moment, whether good or bad, will pass. It’s all change/changing, a state of constant flux so don’t get too attached, because it’s that attachment that causes the suffering. What we are enjoying right now will certainly come and bite us on the ass later, so, hey, what the fuck?
Here’ s my favorite…it’s called the 5 remembrances .
I am of the nature to grow old.
There is no way to escape growing old.
I am of the nature to have ill health.
There is no way to escape ill health.
I am of the nature to die.
There is no way to escape death.
All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change.
There is no way to escape being separated from them.
My actions are my only true belongings.
I cannot escape the consequences of my actions.
My actions are the ground upon which I stand
That about sums it up, no?
It’s a philosophy I can get behind. Everything is shitty, might get better but then will certainly get shittier and then we die, or maybe we die after everyone we love dies….whichever comes first. Whatever. Oh, and everything we do has consequences so we can fuck everything up or make a positive difference while we live our own suffering little lives and then we get to stand there and take our consequences like a man. Or woman. But since it’s Buddhist and old and women didn’t exist then (do they now?), probably like a man.
I just got this new app for my phone. I must have really wanted it because it cost me money, 99 cents to be exact. ( picture Gwen Verdon fosse-ing in the background)
It’s called WeCroak.
5 times a day (is that a nod to the remembrances?) I hear a tone and voila! A reminder that I’m going to die appears on my phone.
Well, except that sometimes it’s more a reminder that I ought to make the best out of the life I have at the moment. I don’t like those; I prefer the facts….you’re going to die and there is nothing to be done about it. I don’t need to be reminded to live now. I am living now. I’d like to be told when I am going to die, but its not a Crystal Ball app for chrissakes and if it could tell me that it certainly would cost more than 99 cents. Probably at least $1.99, amiright?
Someone should invent a Crystal Ball app.(tm)
I decided about this blog. I know what it will be.
It will be a place to spew, a vomitorium of sorts.
I looked up that word, vomitorium. Much to my chagrin I found out that it’s not a place the ancient Romans would go to vomit between courses. That is a widely held misconception. It actually refers to entryways from which a crowd could “spew’ forth into their seats at a public entertainment venue. Perhaps at those early “lion eating christian” displays? Who knows. Reading that pissed me off. I have always enjoyed the idea of such gross decadence that people would stuff themselves to bursting then go vomit to be able to return to eating.
Oh wait, that’s bulimia. I actually did that for a while in my twenties. It’s also a pretty spot on example of what the GOP behaves like these days, but I digress..
Whatever. The “spew” works.
(I just got another WeCroak notification! “You don’t live on the earth. You are passing though it” Rumi. Hhhmmmm.. doesn’t much sound like Rumi, but I appreciate the sentiment).
Anyway, so. a place to just spit it all out, whatever is on my mind. No matter what it is. No holds barred, no filter. I’m tired of barring holds. I’m also tired of pulling punches. (Wrestling term followed by fighting term. One -two punch. HAH! That’s some dumb-ass MAGA sports referencing right there.)
Remember the remembrances? The remembrances don’t bar any holds, they just lay it out there for us to chew on, or spew on, whatever. They tell the truth.
Mary Oliver asks “what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”.
I’m living it. We’re all living it, Mary. Whatever the consequences.