March 21, 2011 – March 21, 2015
That’s not emblematic of a short life, that is emblematic of a wonderful life.
A different life. A blessed life A lucky life. A life worth living.
It’s emblematic of a 4 years sober life.
Not me when I made a conscious decision to not pick up a drink one Monday night 4 years ago. How the hell did that translate into 4 years of not having a cocktail since that date?
Not easy, not hard. Not scary, not safe. Not beautiful, not hideous….no huge swings on either end. Well, at least looking back. There were swings early on, but I could always find some reason to put off that inevitable (in my mind) drink. Fairly recently I went through a rough-ish patch, where all the good reasons I had for stopping drinking seemed a little faded, you know? I wasn’t ever close to throwing up my hands, but my head was back in that space of “oh, my drinking was really just situational, I could probably…”. Yeah, right! Anyway, it passed.
It ALWAYS passes. ALWAYS. I promise you. Sometimes in an hour, sometimes 5 minutes, sometimes a few days, sometimes a flash, a thought. It’s a believing game, a faith game. Faith that you can wait it out, that there is a power greater than you, even if it’s just your willingness to stop drinking, that can help you not grab that bottle of whatever your poison might be.
It’s a process and its a miracle. And it’s most important step is surrender.
I am so grateful for everyone in my life that has held me up, helped me and offered me chances to help them. I rely on my IRL friends, but, oh how I love my online friends! I started online, sitting in my office, drinking Jack I had hidden in a drawer from…who? LOL! No one. I stumbled upon the BFB in it’s first iteration on yahoo and the person who took me to my first meeting was someone I met online there and is still a dear friend today. I spent hours online on the BFB, and while I don’t go there anymore, there is a select group of friends I made there that I talk to probably every day, and most of whom I have met even though we live all over the country. I appreciate all of you, the bloggers I follow and who follow me. This is an awesome no -holds- barred, tell it like it is community and it helps me so much.
According to Anne Lamott the three essential prayers are Help, Thanks and Wow! You all have helped me and allowed me to help you and thankyouthankyouthankyou for that!
4 years sober.