Checking In

IMG_3461That, my friends, is a picture of my dining room table. And I will tell you that the only food on it are, quite frankly, the two essential food groups : chocolate and popcorn.

Oh, and tea. Lots of tea.

There are books and papers strewn all through the apartment. The yoga mat is always out, holding blocks and a strap in case of sudden inspiration. I have a loft apartment and I’m too embarrassed to actually take a picture but, hanging on the railing, drying, are yoga clothes, fresh from the laundry. Only yoga clothes because, frankly, I am in little else.

I have made friends with my crockpot…I load it up with whatever I can find on Saturday morning and I have a meal that night when I get home. And the next night. And the next….last weekend I ate from Saturday to Wednesday. Which was yesterday. I have always liked left-overs, thank god. And it’s a good thing I have made friends with my crockpot because I have little time for any there friends.  Except  my new best bud, Patanjali, and others who write about yoga.

I am tired. I knew the weekends would be hard but Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!***, the homework, my god the homework!

I cannot tell you how much I love this Teacher Training!

See, none of this is complaining. It’s facts. It’s hard and stressful. It’s confronting on so many levels. I’m tired. I’m having to draw skeletons (well, truthfully I put my foot down on that one and printed a blank one out to label!) and learn sanskrit. I’m attempting yoga poses that are, at least now, unavailable to me.  I have to stand in front of people and teach them yoga poses using proper cues that I can barely remember even though I hear them over and over. I have to write paper after paper and read page after page. I have to take and observe lists of classes, and write papers on my observations.

I cannot tell you how much I love this Teacher Training!

I am learning so much and it is all so interesting. I am meditating naturally and seeing change because of that (11th step gang….. my favorite!). I adore the philosophy of yoga part, it is fascinating and so revealing (there was no philosophy homework paper to write this week and, even though I was loaded with plenty of other work, I was so disappointed!) The physical practice is challenging and sweaty and I see myself slowly coming along. The teaching part….well. I’m getting more confident. I have no idea if I even want to teach but I appreciate the skills I am learning.

I really wanted to write at least once a week to record for myself this journey, but I realized that the homework is helping me…the papers I hated writing and those I loved. The  quizzes that caused tears or just sighs of acceptance. The asana sequence that hit the mark vs those that made little sense. Through the homework I will have a strong sense of the journey, and I know I will remember the disparate emotions attached to each one.

I haven’t talked about the teachers or the other trainees…I’m up late and exhausted and will save that for another post (if I ever find the time to write another post!) But they are wonderful.

Anyway, I just wanted to check in, connect. I have been reading and commenting on posts, and grateful for that. Suffice it to say that I am happy, I made an incredible decision and, while I have no idea how it will play out in the end, right now I know it was perfect for me.


***if you get that reference it’s an homage to the reading for pure escape that I am unable to do at the moment. I am, however, binge watching 30 Rock, a show I never watched when it was originally on. It’s perfect, 22 minutes of straight up laughs and then to bed. I am very grateful for netflix these days.

OH and the no face Book thing? best decision I have ever made. I’ll never go back.





Add yours →

  1. It sounds grueling but exciting! xx

  2. I am so jealous and happy for you and want to hear more and more.

    • I’m sure you can relate to so much of what i say, having been through it yourself.
      It’s awesome and horrifying at the same time! lol…
      This weekend we are exploring supine and seated twists, and backbends….it’s gonna be good.

      How’s the teaching going?

      • Because my training was so condensed we skipped a lot of this kind of homework. I do a lot of independent reading, but I would love a group.

        Teaching is lovely. I only do one class a week and I keep it very still yin. One on my personal struggles is to take time to do less. I always choose hot power over slower classes. Teaching in a very small group means I choose and can do the postures with the class.

        Taking 90 minutes to be quiet feels like a gift of kindness to myself and I hope my class feels that way. I’ve had students cry. cry! It fills my heart with joy to know I am sharing a love of yoga with others.

        I have also volunteered to teach once a week at the local treatment centre, but it hasn’t opened yet. I’m excited.

  3. Love how immersed you are and how you distinguish between complaining and stating facts. It does sounds hard. It does sound like a lot of work. And what’s wrong with that? Nothing. It sounds satisfying and rewarding. Also, I too love 30 Rock. Still miss it.

    • it is both satisfying and rewarding….

      i looked at all the things I did this week and, basically, none of it was out of the house! I went to the grocery store and yoga classes and did homework and housework…
      and now it’s the weekend again, and back at it…
      thanks for the support!

  4. Good job! You are inspiring me to try it next time we have a training in our studio. It does sound all-consuming, in a fabulous way.

    • go for it!

      it is truly amazing on all levels, even the hard ones, the ones i’m not digging as much are making me grow.
      Can’t recommend highly enough, and it’ really great doing it at a studio were you are already comfortable That really helped me make the decision.

  5. No matter how you spin it Mished…I’m still REALLY jealous.

    Love these updates. Hope you have more time to write.


  6. Did you hear that?
    It was the sound of me squealing from the middle of the country. I can’t tell you happy this post makes me. You have no idea how often I think of you and how curious (see what I did there) I am about your journey. In fact, I dragged my ass out of bed this morning at 5:30 for my favorite teacher and class. She is so honest and human and authentic – it’s the type of teacher I imagine you being. As the Sanskrit and anatomy rolled off her tongue, I thought of you and how grateful I am TO you for bringing me yoga. Seriously, the best advice I’ve ever taken.

    Now – I’m off to do some online shopping – I could LIVE in yoga pants!! xoxox

  7. I like your essential food groups, and the 30 Rock reference… but I LOVE the excitement and energy and ‘not-knowing-what-you’re-doing-but-loving-it-anyway’ness of this post. you are making something wonderful! keep making it and keep us in touch with how it’s going! xx

    • Thanks primrose
      and i loved the reminder that i need some little potted primroses around my place!
      Spring is when i miss my house….i want to get out and garden and there’s no garden…

      This is one of those “I would NEVER do this if I wasn’t sober” things. I have to start my gratitude there.
      Thanks so much for the support, I really feel it!

  8. wooooo! I look forward to doing my training some day. I’m so glad you’re enjoying it. Soon we can have online sober yoga classes and we’ll all stretch and laugh 😉

  9. Incredibly inspiring! Thanks for checking in. ❤

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