Grasping At Straws…

Oh Man….

tonight I got nothing. Seriously, I have been trying to get inspired about writing some sort of post and am coming up blank. I am spinning my wheels here. Nothing on the Daring Greatly list is calling me, and the list of 100 questions? I want it to STFU, ya know? I have some posts started but I don’t FEEL like finishing them (you can start imagining a whiny voice at any point now…..)

I feel great, have had a great day…slept in, meeting with sponsee, 11th step yoga tonight, there’s nothing wrong. I am just counting this post as filler…I am not in the mood.

Anne Lamott talks about sitting down and writing anyway in Bird By Bird, as does Natalie Goldberg in Writing Down The Bones. They talk about being uninspired and going throughout the motions and letting it be ok.

So I am letting it be ok that I have nothing much to say here. I downloaded 3 new books: Gone Girl, Wild and Atul Gawande’s new book Being Mortal. Of course I started Gone Girl first, even though I went on Amazon to get Being Mortal. That’s kind of where my head is I guess, inane escapist mode….lets not tackle the heavy lifting when there is a good yarn to get lost in (I am assuming it’s a good yarn, I’ve been told it is).

That’s a metaphor for me right now, I think. This week would, in the past, be WAY heavy lifting, and instead I am enjoying it as a good yarn. ย I look at my calendar and see a lot of yoga, no grief groups to facilitate, fun Thanksgiving plans and an invitation to a party on Saturday. Of course, Friday will find me, as usual, in line at Walmart at 2 am…..

*shiver*…seriously? Just kidding!

I’m planning on a lot of netflix and reading and, hopefully, decent writing this week. But for now? ย Butt in chair, fulfill the blog-a day commitment.

While Anne Lamott talks about “shitty first drafts”, I am busy delivering a shitty FINAL draft.

Hopefully it will be better tomorrow (no promises!).

I will leave you with this thought…..
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(That sentiment makes ME happy!)

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16 Comments

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  1. I love this. I often “have nothing”, but I only post three times a week. I read a few of your posts. I guess I should have commented, but I felt I didn’t want to comment on a post where you were sad and bring up all those feelings. Hmmmmm. I read the “Say His Name” post. Always a confusing subject for me. I never want to make people feel sad by talking about their deceased loved one. Ya know? You are just going along having a day, then someone brings it up. Sometimes it is ok, but sometimes it is not. Hmmmmmm.

    Happy Monday.

    • Thanks for reading.
      In terms of making someone sad…here’s the thing, we are sad. we are missing our people. you can’t make us sadder, but you can make us happy by saying their names, acknowledging their existence. I don’t want anyone to ignore him, or anyone that is deceased, they lived and were important. Talking about them makes people in grief feel good.
      99% of the time you are going to help by talking about someone who has died to someone who has loved them. I understand the confusion, but this is the truth.
      Thanks for commenting!

      • Yeah. There is constant sadness and longing, but sometimes it is not on the surface and then when the person is mentioned it comes flooding back. It just depends, so, in my opinion, I gotta be ready for it . . . .ready for what might come if I am the speaker and ready for what might come when someone brings up my dead loved ones. I’ll go with the percentage being higher that I will make them feel better and speak. Thanks. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. I loved Gone Girl and Wild. But the Gillian Flynn book that really got to me was Sharp Objects.
    I can’t even imagine doing a post a day.
    I have been stymied, going through a lot of family stuff and can’t blog it because I stupidly gave my SIL my blog site. I wrote something once, and immediately got 8 text messages from her. I was thinking of changing the name of something…hmmmm
    I have enjoyed all your posts.
    SL

    • my blog is completely anonymous, not linked to anything about me. I do have some “real life ” friends who I have given the link to, but NONE of my family!
      I think about you a lot and hope you are hanging in..

  3. You’re gonna laugh at me, but this post might be one of my favorites. I’m all about the shitty first draft these days–it’s liberating to let go of the need for perfection and just write.
    However, I was worried for a bit as I thought we couldn’t be friends any longer. Thank goodness you hollered out a JK on the Walmart at 2 a.m. I like you too much to let you go ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. I think that was more than adequate. I wrote my posts extremely quickly and without much forethought. I know if I plan then I will get bogged down and never write anything.

    Have a happy Monday!

    • Sometimes I plan them out because I am adding media, or I really want to make a point. However, often times those are the ones that end up never being published. The ones I just sit down and write on a jag generally show up.

  5. I reserved my first Anne Lamott book from the library- Travelling Mercies and can’t wait for it to come in ๐Ÿ™‚
    Wild is great- I’ve read it before and I’m currently reading it again on my Kobo. It’s one of the stories that inspired me to do my first multi-day hike! I hope you enjoy it.

    • I just finished a book called Walking Home, by Sonia Choquette….she walked the Pilgrimage of the Camino de Santiago in Spain. I guess I’m on a “long walk” tangent? ๐Ÿ˜‰
      I can’t wait to hear how you like Lamott! She also has a FB page that she writes on quite a lot..long stories, and she has articles all over the internet

  6. Do you think anyone would mind if that quote was on our Christmas card?
    ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. I love your posts even when you think you’ve gone blank!

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