Meet The Parents

Great picture, no?

Those are the ‘rents. Young and beautiful and perfect. Newly married,  no kids, none of the troubles that would beset them later in life.
IMG_2892

Troubles like career disappointments. Too many kids, too little money. The drinking. The kids growing up and disappointing. The fighting. The strokes that began the slow decline for him, the Parkinsons and dementia that allowed her to live way too long in horrible circumstances.

But there they were..so beautiful and happy. Life and all of it’s glory in front of them. Who knows really what happened…how can you tell? I’m sure there was a lot of happy along the way, it wasn’t all bad though it might have looked that way more from the inside/outside of the children’s point of view. We lived our own lives even as children, four separate entities, two parental units. Not a close family, still not really. These two are dead, we kids attempt staying in touch but it’s not very successful. Christmas usually sees us sharing a meal; maybe this Christmas…maybe not.

I don’t really remember a lot from my childhood, and it makes me sad. I don’t think I am blocking things, certainly nothing terrible. I think I really was just disinterested. I’m sorry now. I wish it could have been different. I wish I had behaved differently on many occasions, but I also know I cannot live in the past, “regret it”, right?

I had this picture on my ancestor altar for Day Of The Dead. I spent time meditating, saying I was sorry, calling up specific amends I felt I needed to make. I cried a lot and mostly because I wish that they were here, or that I could have figured all of this stuff out before they died and told them face to face how sorry I was for some of my behavior. I trust they heard me though, I believe they did.

November 12 is her birthday, the 21st is his. I was just really feeling them tonite, and so this.

Things are good here you two. I love you. And I know you had your “shout of joy”.

 

On the day I die, don’t weep.

Don’t say she’s gone/he’s gone.

Death has nothing to do with going away.

The moon sets and the sun sets,

but they’re not gone.

Death is a coming together.

The human seed goes down into the ground

like a bucket,

and come up with some unimaginable beauty!

Your mouth closes here

and immediately opens

with a shout of joy there!

Rumi

Advertisements

4 Comments

Add yours →

  1. ((Hugs)) to you. That is a great picture, thank you for sharing it, and them, with us.

  2. Michele – Admittedly, I am behind in reading your posts, but something about this one just said “Read me Now”.I’m sure glad I did for this is your best one yet. I loved the inspirational message at the end. Keep writing, your stuff is wonderful.

  3. Gorgeous pic. Sad story.

  4. Your words reflect what I sometimes see in my own childhood. I try not to think about it too much. Nothing disastrous as you’ve mentioned…just detached and separate from me. Kudos to you for having the bravery to honor them, meditating and making amends on your ancestor altar. More brave than me. xo

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: