I am struggling with FaceBook.
I have been for a while now. I am appalled by the time I waste on it, and the fact that I just described the time I am on it as wasted says it all. The comic Elayne Boosler called it a “clock-sucker”; I heartily agree.
It wouldn’t matter if I could moderate it, but I can’t seem to moderate anything. I know people who have proscribed times when they go on, for “just one hour” , blah, blah, blah.
Look, good for them, god speed, that ain’t me. I have too many friends who share too many interesting and fun videos and quotes and pictures and I get sucked in. Then I also am involved in some groups, so I have to check those. I also have an addiction to Candy Crush, HOWEVER, Level 245 is finally going to be the end for me. Not because I’m so disciplined I’m going to quit, but because it seems impossible to win and I am tired of it.
I want to write more here, and about different things. I’m not sure what but I don’t think about it because I’m too busy on FB.
I want to read, damn! I love to read and have several books going but I read so little because, FB.
Magazines. I have magazines, subscriptions, sitting around, unread…FB
I want to watch some great TV shows I missed, and knit while I am doing it. However, FB
I need sneakers (I know Susan!) for walking, I want to go to more yoga classes, FB, FB!
I am blaming everything on FB and enjoying it. There is some truth to it, but the real truth is that FB is an amazing avoidance tool and I like to avoid and procrastinate. It’s a character defect. As is the jealousy and envy I get sometimes looking at others lives, the judgement I have towards people who I don’t agree with, the sarcasm and tone I can take with some of the posts I make.
Its not all bad. I LOVE seeing peoples pictures, especially people who live far away. FB is so immediate, things happen in real time, I love that. I love the way good news is shared so quickly, and I’ve heard bad news fast too, sad but helpful. It is life happening. But it’s happening on my computer when I am home alone in my sweats instead of participating in it. Sometimes I think I might as well stick a bottle of Jack in the desk drawer , things are so similar to that dark time. The other day I got up, turned my computer on, checked emails and went to FB. Read my feed, checked my groups and it was 2 1/2 hours later.
NO! Just no.
I am deeply disturbed by this and that means something has to change. I already hid a bunch of people so that has cut down traffic, but it’s not enough. Am I gearing up to attempt moderation? To take a specific amount of time off? To only look at certain groups? To dump it all together? I don’t know, I really don’t.
I just know this is not contributing to my best self. It helps out my lazy, isolating, lonely self, but that’s not who I want to be.
I want to be free of this monkey on my back, this time-sucking vampire, this voyeuristic and self-serving addiction.
Anyone out there have any ideas?
(I, of course, asked that question on FB and didn’t get any good responses. Except for the Elayne Boosler joke. That was a good response.)