I have another post I want to write today and probably will, but I just had to write this because….
I re-read my post about the Whole30 that I wrote yesterday. Clear, concise and all the truth.
And there was not one mention of weight in it. What?
Did I even mention that I have weighed basically the same for years except right before I quit drinking, when I gained about 12 pounds (and immediately lost it again when i sobered up – even with eating whatever I wanted). I didn’t mention that recently i had become a very sporadic weigher, because it was too frustrating. Every time I stepped on a scale I was within 3 lbs of a certain weight, and I was at the point where that was so hard for me because my body was changing so much. I mean, why do none of my pants fit? Why am I hanging over the top of everything? How can I not gain and ounce and have this be true? God, it made me crazy!
A few months ago my wise and lovely food guru friend told me “fuck the scale, stop!”. I heard that, and it seemed to solve the problem a bit…it took the frustration out of the equation. I was still packed into my jeans and rolling over the top, but I didn’t know that I still weighed the same (right? Denial runs deep!). So I stopped weighing and sat in the denial. But I knew, and when I decided to try this another draw was weight loss, truthfully…I was hoping it would help my body out in that way too. So the day I started I did what I hadn’t done in months, which was weigh myself. And, no surprise, I weighed basically what I always weighed. I wanted a base-line though, and now I had it.
As the process unfolded and the health benefits started showing, I stopped obsessing about numbers; as a matter of fact I was on the same page as Ms. Guru…and told everyone. There were people in my group dying to get through the thirty days to weigh themselves and I was the anti-weigher. Something really shifted in me: as I became more obsessed with health I became less obsessed with weight, and it felt good.
But I need to report that, while I have no idea what I weigh, and don’t plan to, I am fitting into my tight clothes beautifully. When I sit down I don’t have that hideous muffin top going on. I feel pretty good about my body, though I need to exercise and am planning on devising some sort of exercise plan along these lines (not cross-fit! jesus!)
I felt that needed to be reported, because it was a part of it.
The excellent news? I didn’t even think about it when I wrote yesterday…that is amazing, a sea-change. It makes me feel really good about myself .
The other excellent news? The scale is in the trash.